“Uy, sa Saturday na daw ang labas ng ACET results!" I heard a classmate say last week.
I don’t really know what to feel. A part of me was afraid. I was scared that the results might not be in my favor. I was afraid to fail. I don’t want to fail. But a part of me says, “I don’t even care.”
I knew that it is impossible for me to study in Ateneo. If ever my brain surpasses the exam, I still can’t study there because I know that my family cannot afford the Atenean education. I could only hope for a big scholarship grant. My mother once told me, “Anak, kahit 200% pa ang scholarship mo dyan, hindi talaga natin kaya.”
I just had to accept that Ateneo will just be one of my dream schools. (UP is my ultimate dream school tho, haha) It was only just a dream. I accepted it because I knew from the start that we don’t hove the money for such a luxurious education.
I still tried. I got my application forms and also applied for a scholarship. I hoped.
I find it weird that I found the test quite easy tho. It was really hard but some parts of it weren’t. When I first took the ACET in January 2013 for the AJSS qualifying exam, it was the most draining exam I’ve ever met. Whut?
And how do I even begin with my essay? The electricity went out in our testing site when I was writing my essay. Good thing, I was beside the windows. I immediately grabbed the curtains, searching for a good light source. I swear I looked stupid.
After the test, I felt quite relieved. I was just glad that it’s over. My friends and I even watched Insidious 2 after. I’ve never felt nervous ever again, not until last week.
All my fears and doubts went back. This morning, we had a club meeting in our school for the Honor Society. I was a volunteer in facilitating the games for the day. I knew that I won’t be home when the results are released at 12 noon.
I saw that one of my classmates was on the phone. She was talking to a friend in ADMU who was checking the results at ADMU. She already announced that one of my classmates passed. Then she told that one other classmate was on the waiting list. That’s when I went really doubtful of my success. She was a very smart student. Than there’s me. I doubt if there’s still hope for me.
She asked me if I applied for a scholarship, then texted my name to her friend. Her friend didn’t reply. For two hours, we did not hear anything about our fate.
I don’t always wish for things, but when I saw the time on my phone, I did. 11:11 “ACET,” I thought. When noon came, our club meting was concluded. My friends and stayed in school for a while, just to rest and chat. All of a sudden my classmate said, "Montalbo, BS ME. 100TFA."
"Pucha! Tunay?!" I shouted. I was and still am in a state of shock. I never expected to pass in a freaking honors program. I also never expected to have my scholarship application approved. I hoped, but I never expected it to happen.
This is a big blessing for me. I have proven myself. I did it. But I think I won’t go to Ateneo. It still is a luxurious way of living for us. The dorm rates are too high. And I think I like Mechanical Engineering in UPD more than I like Management Engineering in Ateneo.
Nonetheless, this is one of the greatest blessings I have received. ♥